Mary McCarthy has been driving for nearly 20 years, yet she has only driven on motorways about ten times. The experience terrifies her.
“I remember every single time I’ve been on one, it’s been an absolute disaster,” Mary explains. “I freeze in my lane, I can’t overtake, and when people beep at me, it makes me even more anxious.” Over time, her fear has grown, leading her to avoid motorway driving altogether.
Even as a passenger, she struggles to relax, sometimes making her husband nervous while he drives. To avoid motorways, Mary relies on her siblings or her 80-year-old father for longer trips, which she admits can be embarrassing.
Driving anxiety like Mary’s is not uncommon. Diane Curtis Knight, a driving instructor who works with anxious drivers, says fear of motorways is one of the most frequent challenges she encounters. Often, she explains, the fear isn’t the motorway itself but other sources of stress or anxiety that surface while driving.
Curtis Knight suggests changing how you talk about the problem, emphasizing the power of the word “yet.” Instead of saying, “I can’t drive on motorways,” she recommends thinking, “I can’t drive on motorways yet, but maybe I can in the future.” Keeping a journal can also help track progress. After each drive, note your anxiety before and after the journey on a scale of 1 to 10. This approach shows that anticipation is often worse than the actual drive.
Tracey Field, a stress management expert who runs Confident Drivers, says driving anxiety is common among couples where one person usually drives, causing the other to become “de-skilled” and less confident. Field recommends easing into motorway driving gradually, such as practicing at quieter times, using short junctions, or starting with small roundabouts. Techniques like breathing exercises or humming can help regulate emotions in stressful moments.
For Mary, the turning point came when she realized her fear limited her children’s opportunities. Trips that could take 22 minutes by motorway instead take two hours by public transport. Now approaching 50, she plans to take motorway lessons to set a positive example for her daughter. “I want to overcome this fear and drive on a motorway without feeling like I’m about to die,” she says.
