Eddie Brummelman finds the Dutch phrase “101 manieren om een kind te prijzen” inspiring, but not very optimistic. The term “101 ways to praise a child” is featured on an instructional poster and includes suggested remarks like “you do that beautifully…” and “very good!”
The poster’s message could appear innocent, even beneficial. However, Brummelman, an associate professor at the University of Amsterdam studying developmental psychology, calls this hyperbolic praise. Furthermore, even though it’s meant to break the cycle of poor self-esteem, his research indicates that excessive praise may really make it worse.
Exaggerated compliments are not the only thing that might be awkward. In certain situations, a Japanese youngster who says “No, no” when a relative calls him talented or a German woman who brushes off a colleague’s comment about how attractive she looks could both be viewed as being unappreciative. Yes, there is plenty of information on the internet about how to improve your ability to accept compliments.
